How Can You Tell The Truth From A Lie?

How can you tell the truth from a lie when he claims “I think of her like a sister” then replaces you with her.

How can you tell the truth from a lie when he says “I went home alone” but really he took her with him.

How can you tell the truth from a lie when he says “you’re irreplaceable” and then hooks up with two different girls the moment you go your separate ways.

How can you tell the truth from a lie when he tells you “I love you” and then breaks your heart.

There’s so many times when you believe someone and it turns out they’re lying, or maybe in the moment it was true and then things changed.  Trust is a difficult thing to bring back once it’s lost; no matter who made you lose it, it’s difficult to give it back to anyone once it’s gone.  I try and believe what people say and sometimes my gut feeling tells me not to but other times it doesn’t and I get hurt. But to not let yourself love again because of those people, that’s the saddest thing in the world. I haven’t found the guy who regains my trust yet but I believe that oneday I will and I’ll know that I have when he’s still by my side no matter what. 

Sometimes you can’t tell the truth from a lie but what a beautiful thing it would be to finally never have to question it. 

Don’t hate the people that betray your trust, try and look at it from their point of view. Or pity them that they didn’t have the courage to be honest.  I truly believe honesty is key.

best wishes from a tiny girl xx 

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How Can You Tell The Truth From A Lie?

Breathe 

Recently I haven’t been feeling quite myself. I have been finding it difficult to stay positive in the way that I usually do and I am yet to have felt the “new year, new me” motivations kicking in.

I found today that going for a walk on a crisp, sunny day really helped me feel a new love for life and it made me aware that maybe what I need to do is spend less time dwelling on the worries in my head and more times appreciating my surroundings. I have said many times before that it’s nice to stop and look at nature and to try not to over think too much. I suppose I need to listen to my own advice right now.

I thought I’d share a photo of one of the beautiful views I was lucky enough to witness on my walk as a way of hopefully inspiring some of you to go out and have some me time aswell.

Remember that you can set new goals and dreams for yourself any time of the year so if your new year didn’t start with a bang set one off later on when you’re ready! 

best wishes from a tiny girl xx 

Breathe 

Have Faith, Be Kind

Sometimes it can be really difficult to trust in something or someone when everything you hear counteracts everything you’ve been told or believed up until that point.

Moving away from where I call home has been difficult on many levels, but especially when trying to stay in contact with my friends. Most of my friends are currently at University themselves which means that the most we really get to see of each other is during the holidays.  It is difficult to keep up the same level of friendship as we don’t speak to each other at all as frequently as we once did.  When I see my friends in person everything feels the same; as if no time has passed.  But occasionally you hear things that may have been blown out of proportion and find yourself questioning whether your friends are as trustworthy as you thought or whether they’re as loyal as they once were.  The difficulty with situations like this is that they actually test your own trust and faith in your friends.  Can you still believe the best of your friends as you once would have done.

I spent an evening at a party where I was hearing rumours about one of my best friends and a guy I used to be dating.  I was certain that she would never go behind my back, knowing it would upset me. I was also sure that if anything was happening with her and the guy that she would have told me. I still found myself doubting the situation however as it was rather humiliating to sit through, and stirred up unwanted emotions from the past. This made me feel guilty as I started to think unkind thoughts about my friends in the heat of the moment, simply because of the niggling rumours other people had forced into my head.  How could all my other friends be so certain that something was going on between them, could it really all be based on lies?

In the end I decided to ask her, I felt bad that I even felt the need to, but equally I thought she ought to be aware of what people were saying about her behind her back.  Immediately I knew she wouldn’t lie to me.  That despite the distance that is now so often separating us our friendship will always remain true, and that the doubts I had were mostly due to the untrustworthy nature of the guy they were about, rather than my friend.  It didn’t stop me from feeling guilty about having a momentary lapse of faith in her friendship though, especially as I had voiced some of my concerns to another friend of ours.  We both apologised to each other, her for perhaps allowing the guy to start up rumours like that and me for doubting her friendship in the first place. And I was quick to inform the friend in which I had confided that I was now sure there was no need for me to worry.

My reasoning for writing this blog post is not to carry on the gossip which I had felt so guilty about believing in the first place, but was instead to make the point that sometimes it is best to have faith and be kind.  I could have kept my worries to myself and spoken to my friend straight away to hear the truth from her but instead, while I was embarrassed and hurt I chose to voice my opinions, which as I have said, I came to regret.  There is a line in the latest film adaptation of Cinderella where the mother says to the young Ella, “Have courage and be kind.” I think that even when our emotions are at their least controllable we should still attempt to control them.  To believe in goodness. To be less sceptical.  Friendship is built on trust; I let myself believe that because I saw my friend less frequently that she would stop being the trust worthy person that I knew.  I was wrong, and I feel very embarrassed by that.  In the future I will choose to have more faith in people, and think kinder thoughts.  At least wait until you have proof on why your opinions should be changed.  People thrive on gossip, but don’t let their petty pleasures ruin your friendships.

best wishes from a tiny girl xx

Have Faith, Be Kind

Doom of the Day

A day or two ago my parents and I were discussing the news. Not so much what had recently happened in the world, but more the theme of the content that is provided for us, as a society, to watch, read and listen to on a daily basis.  It’s not hard to notice that the vast majority, if not all of the news we are burdened with is bad, sad or downright depressing.  There are rarely ever stories of people who have done or achieved wonderful things. And when there are they are suffocated, engulfed and brought down by all of the horror going on elsewhere in the world. 

I find it difficult to understand why we a purely given horrible news to watch, and wonder who decides what news is the best news for the population to see? Obviously it is important for us to know about the things that go on in the world, even if they’re not things you would necessarily choose to hear about BUT it is unrealistic and soul destroying to put all of that bad news in front of us without a single ounce of hope.  The NEWS should be good for the human population, it should give us a boost, add to our sense of moral. Not force out any faith we may have left in the human race.

When discussing it with my parents my mum came up with the idea of a spoof news, “Doom of the Day” because it is a more accurate title for what we are shown. My dad believes that for every negative and upsetting news story there should be two positive ones. I completely agree and think the world would be a better place if there was.

As the new year has begun I think it would be a good idea to think if good things that have happened in our own lives every day as a way of finding some form of positivity. And make your own food news, doing a good deed everyday, no matter how big or small will help the world become a better one. 

best wishes from a tiny girl xx 

Doom of the Day

Feeling Lost.

I had my final hand in of the term last Friday; my Christmas holidays have begun, yet I find myself fluctuating between feeling extremely excited for my favourite time of the year and a bit miserable for reasons I can’t actually find an answer to.

I’m really happy with how my first term of second year went at uni. I am slightly worried that despite feeling as if I worked really hard and being pleased with my work that I still won’t have done enough. I know I have lots of room to improve and I also know that I have come really far already so whatever the outcome I should be pleased and be grateful that I can learn from it. I can’t help feeling a little frustrated with myself though as I do feel as if I ran out of steam a bit with my last project simply due to being exhausted from the rest of the term. I’m now half way through my degree which is scary but exciting all the same. 

Since being on holiday I managed to see a few of my friends from school for a day, but have been staying in the place my parents have moved to since. By the end of the summer here I felt incredible lonely and found myself in a routine with not much in it which lead to boredom, fatigue and an overall dull, numb, cloudy sensation which felt almost as if it was living in my brain.  I began to feel this way again almost as soon as I returned here.  At first it was nice to rest but now I’m feeling a lack of purpose here. All my worries and anxieties seem to surface to the forefront of my thoughts here and I can’t help but feel as if I am in a void of not belonging, loneliness and the simple feeling of being lost.
It’s not the I haven’t been happy to be back with my parents but even that hasn’t felt the same. I feel as if I am a constant nuisance; they have noticed my mood is different from the usual lively bubbly one that I normally come with, however they’re not asking why it’s changed or where it’s gone. This makes me sad as I know they just think I’m being grumpy, and to be honest even if they did ask I wouldn’t be able to give them an answer.

I’m hoping this will stop, that it’s happening due to hormones that will pass, or because I’m still adjusting to an unfamiliar place, but deep down I feel as if this is a new me that is emerging from within. One that is more insecure, that finds it hard to push down the negativity and instead allows it to show on the surface. One that will push their friends away due to ridiculous jealousies, or who will pull away from their parents when they offer me their hand.

I don’t know what’s happening. I think I need to sort my thoughts, my ambitions and my personality or else this could get worse.

Here’s to hoping the new year is brighter than the end of this one. 

best wishes from a tiny girl xx  

Feeling Lost.

Be Happy With You.

I made a post called Live In The Now! a while back.  I spoke about trying not to focus too hard on potential worries you may have for the future and instead simply focus on your life as it is now.  This blog post follows a similar theme, but about relationships.

I have only ever been in an ‘official’ relationship once in my life, when I was in my late teens. I was never the type of person that craved a relationship, in fact I was the opposite; if any of my friends expressed their desire to be in a relationship I would scoff and ask them “why?”.  I was more than happy to be single, and for the most part, I still am.  But now that I have had a taste for the benefits that come with a relationship; the companionship, the loving cuddles, and the feeling of being wanted by someone else, I sometimes find it difficult not to ask myself “when will I have that again?”

For me the most confusing thing about my situation is that, as I stated, mostly I enjoy being single. When opportunities for a relationship crop up I tend to turn them away, mostly because the situation isn’t right for me which I suppose is fine as it means I will hopefully realise, when the time comes, that I’m ready for a new relationship and that this guy is the right one for me in that moment and hopefully also in the future.  Sometimes when I’m having a down day, when I’m feeling lonely and craving the attention of someone who is more than a friend, I find my attitude to relationships confusing. I wonder why I tell myself I’m happy without one and wonder if I’m actually so deep in lies to myself that I’ll struggle to find my way back out of them even if the right guy did come along.  Over the Summer I finally read a book that had been sitting on my shelf for years; ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’.  I found a line within this book that I really related to at the time and still do, to a certain extent:

“A woman’s heart is such a complex problem – the owner thereof is often most incompetent to find the solution of this puzzle.”

I think for me it put into words exactly how I was feeling, the confusion of my split opinions and the guilt I was feeling for not being able to be fully honest with myself, for desiring a relationship.

What I really wanted to say with this blog post is that it’s ok to ask yourself when your next relationship will be, after all most people end up with a partner and it’s only human nature to seek that comfort, BUT don’t spend your life hanging around waiting for it, be happy with you.  It’s so true all these quotes that tell you to appreciate yourself fully before allowing someone else to, otherwise you might allow yourself to be underappreciated. On top of this, also accept that it’s completely natural to crave a relationship even if you’re happy being single, we all have moments when we need a bit of extra love and comfort and friendship doesn’t always fill the space in your heart.

best wishes from a tiny girl xx

Be Happy With You.

Say Yes

Recently I have been feeling particularly happy in life and with my course.  Our most recent brief is based on a young audience which is right up my street as I definitely want to focus on children’s illustrations when I finish my degree. 

One of my housemates informed me of a project called stories2connect. An extremely worthwhile cause that is helping children/young adults communicate with each other and share their stories about their disabilities, time as young carers and life as foster kids.  It’s a project that has been working with people from Barnados and so is extremely touching and lovely. The reason my friend told me about this project is because the people organising it are looking for artists to participate and create covers/illustrations for the stories told by the people involved. It’s an amazing opportunity but also will be tricky to schedule in with my timetable.  But it got me thinking that opportunities like this don’t come up frequently and it’s beneficial to me as well as the other participants of the project.

I realised that in life we should say yes to more. Yes to helping people out, yes to taking on fun things even if we don’t think we’ve got time and yes to promoting your own abilities. Why not read a book someone wants to lend you, or watch a film with your friends or spend more time with your family. We only fail to do these things because we don’t schedule them in, but I can almost guarantee that if you say yes to these experiences you’ll also find the time to do whatever might be making you consider saying no.

As an aspiring illustrator connections are key to my future. I need to get my name out there to meet the right people and to try and be successful but also I should take opportunities like this one purely to help the worthy people who started this project. Say yes to making other people’s lives better and in turn you’re saying yes to your own future.

best wishes from a tiny girl xx 

Say Yes