I made a post called Live In The Now! a while back. I spoke about trying not to focus too hard on potential worries you may have for the future and instead simply focus on your life as it is now. This blog post follows a similar theme, but about relationships.
I have only ever been in an ‘official’ relationship once in my life, when I was in my late teens. I was never the type of person that craved a relationship, in fact I was the opposite; if any of my friends expressed their desire to be in a relationship I would scoff and ask them “why?”. I was more than happy to be single, and for the most part, I still am. But now that I have had a taste for the benefits that come with a relationship; the companionship, the loving cuddles, and the feeling of being wanted by someone else, I sometimes find it difficult not to ask myself “when will I have that again?”
For me the most confusing thing about my situation is that, as I stated, mostly I enjoy being single. When opportunities for a relationship crop up I tend to turn them away, mostly because the situation isn’t right for me which I suppose is fine as it means I will hopefully realise, when the time comes, that I’m ready for a new relationship and that this guy is the right one for me in that moment and hopefully also in the future. Sometimes when I’m having a down day, when I’m feeling lonely and craving the attention of someone who is more than a friend, I find my attitude to relationships confusing. I wonder why I tell myself I’m happy without one and wonder if I’m actually so deep in lies to myself that I’ll struggle to find my way back out of them even if the right guy did come along. Over the Summer I finally read a book that had been sitting on my shelf for years; ‘The Scarlet Pimpernel’. I found a line within this book that I really related to at the time and still do, to a certain extent:
“A woman’s heart is such a complex problem – the owner thereof is often most incompetent to find the solution of this puzzle.”
I think for me it put into words exactly how I was feeling, the confusion of my split opinions and the guilt I was feeling for not being able to be fully honest with myself, for desiring a relationship.
What I really wanted to say with this blog post is that it’s ok to ask yourself when your next relationship will be, after all most people end up with a partner and it’s only human nature to seek that comfort, BUT don’t spend your life hanging around waiting for it, be happy with you. It’s so true all these quotes that tell you to appreciate yourself fully before allowing someone else to, otherwise you might allow yourself to be underappreciated. On top of this, also accept that it’s completely natural to crave a relationship even if you’re happy being single, we all have moments when we need a bit of extra love and comfort and friendship doesn’t always fill the space in your heart.
best wishes from a tiny girl xx
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